Monthly Archives: January 2005

Listening to your inner voice amidst all the noise

As I am embarking on making a very important decision in my life, I realize many people want to give their advice and be heard. Some truly care and want to remind me of what is out there. Others are just talking to hear themselves talk and so it makes me think of how important it is to hear others but truly, you must listen to your inner voice. Sometimes that voice gets lost because it is hard to hear amidst all the talking. Sometimes that voice gets lost and unheard because you yourself fail to recognize it is there.

People will always give you advice mainly because they care and want the best for you. People will always share their experiences and tell you what they think. They will share their experiences and what happened to them in hopes that you will not make the same mistakes. But as you make your decisions in life, it is important to listen to your inner voice amidst all the “noise”. That voice matters more than all the “noise”.

Tune in … you will be surprised what you hear.

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This is just the beginning

As I face ending one career and possibly starting another, I find myself at a crossroads, but I started to write a blog which was titled, “where has all the time gone?” I stopped myself and did not publish it because as I proofread it, I had a thought. This is not the end of my life and just because I am trying to do something new and fresh, it is not the end. In fact, when we leave our comfort zones and venture into the unknown, it really is not bad. I have always lived my life on the premise that you do what feels comfortable. Take the road which has less risk, and less chance of falling on your face. However, that road, while wonderful and adventureous in its own way, has served me for the last 12 years. It is now time to take the other path and begin a new adventure. There is more risk, there may be more times when I fall and break something, but that is of course, life.

I did not post my more cynical blog because as you start on your new path, you have to realize that choices are difficult but that is what they are: Choices. You make them and make the best of what is happening at that particular stage in your life. This is not the end of a journey but a beginning of another equally fabulous journey to an even more fabulous destination. Either way, you have to be happy from within. No destination, no other person than yourself, and no material object is responsible for your happiness.

Enjoy your new beginning… whatever path you choose in whatever you may be doing today.

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The past definitely explains our present and will help us define our future

Okay, this one’ s a bit more philosophical but here goes. I am writing this as I visit my folks. As a 20-something I never questioned my actions nor did I think about many things. Even as I traveled this time, I watched people at the airport and questioned my own actions. When I watch my parents and how they interact, how they talk and behave, I start to realize where I get my behaviors. Even though I moved out of the home at the age 18, here I am, 13 years later, realizing that my past affects all I do and bears impact on even the most insignificant interactions of my daily life.

My point of writing this blog is to tell you that this is not bad. It is good to observe your past, where you have learned behavior from, and be able to address it early in life. After all, if you wait until you are 50 to learn this, it may be too late to do anything about it. My dad says people cannot change. I do not agree with this. People can change learned behavior. They can change their attitude and behaviors towards things and others. But in order to change what they do not like, they have to identify where it all came from to begin with. I am fortunate to find out at 31, before I am married, before I have impressionable children, how learned behaviors can permeate through our own lives. Our past can help shed light on our present disposition. More importantly, the past helps us define or in my case, re-define our future. Our past infiltrates our present and can affect our interaction with the store clerk all the way to our interaction with our spouses, co-workers, and friends.

It is all around you. Next time you visit your parent(s), do something with your siblings, or see your old high school and college friends, reminisce at will. In fact, I encourage you to open your eyes and your mind and yes, your ears. You will hear it, you will see it, and you will certainly feel it! The past… is our key to learn about where we are at present, and the past holds the hope to a better future. Use this information wisely!

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Reaching the Crossroads

It happens to all of us, some of us more often than others. To some of us, it happens early on in life and to others, it happens about every 10-15 years. It all depends but at some point, you will reach the crossroads in your life or your career.

How do we choose which road to take? Is it really just as simple as choosing one road and then not looking back? Well, those are the million dollar questions.

For the second time, I feel that I am at a crossroads. In 2002 March, I found myself standing at a smaller intersection. Do I extend my time in Germany in a job I loved and which I still consider the best job in the Air Force JAG Corps or do I go back home to the United States and take a job where the morale was at an all-time low, the new boss was not going to be any better, but the dating life would be awesome again? Well, I chose the path of coming home to the U.S. and although the job did prove to be as low as I expected, my dating and personal life did improve and I did find myself engaged to be married some 18 months after taking the path. At the crossroads of life, I felt like I did okay but there still isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t wonder what my life would have been like or where I would have ended up had I not come down this path. If I had chose the path to stay in Germany and then take a follow-on to Washington D.C., how would my life have turned out?

As I stand here today, almost three years later, I find myself at a more congested intersection, one which is fraught with higher stakes. Which road do I choose? On the one path, I get job security and a city which I always wanted to live in, one which is closer to my family. On the other path, I get the opportunity to make a family of my own, and have a career of my own choosing – a location of my own choosing. There are positives on both and risks on both paths. Which one is better? If I choose one path over another, will I spend the rest of my days wondering what life on the other path would have been like. I am certain I will think about it at least once a week. However, what I must recognize and what we must all recognize is that whatever path we choose, it is just that – a choice. Happiness comes from within ourselves and we choose whether to be happy or sad on whatever road we choose. We choose whether to live in regret and doubt and fear or whether to choose a path of living with the knowledge that the path which is laid out before us is the right one and there is no use in looking back because God made you choose the one you are on.

So, as you stand at your intersection, your crossroads in life, remember to weigh your options. Sometimes it is easier to choose because there is no doubt. Other times, it is more difficult. The most important thing to do is to accept your choice once you make it and walk down the path you chose. Enjoy the scenery, take your time, and make your journey a wonderful one… until of course, you reach your next crossroad in life …

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