I really enjoy and love my show, Sex and the City. I call it “my show” because most women in their 30s who were single or got married after 30 will tell you – that show is my life. I can relate to just about every episode in every season. Well, there is an episode about 20-something versus 30-something girls in the second season. I had an epiphany as we were hiking this past weekend with a 20-something couple. I realized that while 30-something girlfriends of mine stick by me no matter what, and support me even if they disagree with my viewpoint, 20-somethings are quite another story. My experience was this and of course, these are my opinions, based on my experience. Yours may be different or you may be 20-something and disagree but remember I am not generalizing for 20-somethings everywhere. My experience is that the difference between 20-somethings and 30-somethings is sticking to your guns. 20-somethings would sell out their first-born if it meant they win the favor of a boy they liked. They would change their taste in music, their favorite shows, and worse, their core beliefs. They don’t seem as loyal to their girlfriends as 30-somethings. Of course, 30-somethings are demanding, have high expectations of their partner, and put their foot down as often as they put their foot in their mouth but it has been my experience that 20-somethings (esp. before the age of 28) think that they need a man to feel good about themselves whereas a 30-something is secure enough to spend a Saturday night with a bowl of popcorn on her couch, watching TV.
A 20-something not only insulted my alma mater, but also my taste in shows this past weekend – she said Sex and the City defined a generation of women who slept around and then settled for any man to just get married. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she was so hot to trot for a man that they have a co-dependent relationship. I did not have the heart to tell her that while Sex and the City is my favorite show, I did not have sex until I was 27. Needless to say, my 20-something foe was only 24 and talking marriage with a guy she had only known and dated for six months. A guy who she spent every waking and free moment with and a guy with whom she had planned her life with without so much as a promise to marry.
I started thinking as we were hiking – I had just come face to face with the 20-something foe who, while fun loving, and in all respects, a nice “friend” to have, was quite annoying to this 30-something. I have rarely had girlfriends who are disparately younger to me. The 7-year difference this past weekend was quite a big gap for me. My younger brother is older than this girl! The youngest friends I think I have had are only a year or two younger and then, I tend to have more older girlfriends. I think that is because with age and with experience, comes a certain level of maturity, a certain level of security, and a certain level of understanding.
It was a true defining moment as I was hiking and realized I was annoyed by the 20-something. I started thinking, are 20-somethings annoying like my favorite show said they are? Are they clingy and needy for attention? Do they think they are better than the 30-somethings? Well, this is just one experience so I will keep my eyes open and continue to keep an open mind to meet more … and then compare to this one encounter. It certainly does not make a 20-something girl a foe but then again, is this promising for a friendship?