Loving Two Equally- is it possible?

I write this on my estimated due date of our second baby. It is amazing to think that any moment now, we will have a second child in our home and a helpless little infant at that. We have a 21-month old at home too and she is getting to the age where she has attitude and wants everything her way. Well, I suppose she will get a rude awakening any day now. It is not going to be easy and as I prepare myself mentally and physically for labor and delivery, I sometimes fail to appreciate the concept of spreading your love and affection and care giving for two children. Right now, it seems very daunting to me. I do not know how I will do it and I begin to wonder… can you truly love both children equally? Or, are you loving them both but in different ways. I know we will be comparing this new baby to how our first child was as a baby or as he or she goes through stages, we will probably think to ourselves, this is easier or harder than the first, but I also wonder, will I be able to balance my time, love, and affection, and attention for both?

It is hard enough right now to care for one and tend to her needs which seem plentiful – feeding, diapering, educational toys and books, disciplining, and play-time and outdoors time. Obviously, you also have to take out time to potty train, read, and break horrible habits like the bottle and pacifier. That takes its toll too. And with the arrival of an infant, while you do not need to spend time and energy reading, educating, disciplining, or worrying about playtime and outdoors time, you still have feeding (nursing for the first several months to year) and diapering. Then, there are tough times for all families when the child or parents are ill, doctor’s visits and of course, as the child grows, develops and starts becoming mobile, cuts, bruises and other bo-bo’s to deal with. In essence, you have to focus on both kids and where they should be at a particular age or developmental cycle in their lives and of course, no two kids are the same so what worked for one will not work for the other. Conversely, you could end up lucky and the first child could be super helpful and start helping with the younger one as they age together. In the end, I still worry whether I will be able to love them both equally or how will I treat them. I am looking forward to the adventure but a bit nervous too. Stay tuned as I report my findings back to you in a few months.

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